I often remind myself that ALL men are great practice. Practice for what you ask? Men give us so many opportunities to practice living from our feminne space and exploring our power. Many times, we miss the opportunity to do so and go into our head analyzing situations, strategizing our next move… “Should I or shouldn’t I call,” pining away for him, figuring out what he might be doing or thinking. My recommendation is stop all of that. Especially in the beginning of a budding romance do not put all of your focus and attention on that one guy. He may be “the one” and he may not. Rest assured, if he is the one, you won’t have to be doing any of the analyzing, strategizing, pining or figuring. Don’t let your heart attach to him too soon. Whether you’re dating , not dating or already in a relationship, all men in our lives give us the opportunity to practice living from our powerful feminine self.
I recommend taking the approach that you are practicing and developing your power and womanly nature. Start practicing staying connected to your truth by feeling your feelings while on dates or in conversations with various men. Don’t ignore your feelings. Let them inform you of what is going on. Speak your feelings as long as you can do so without harming anyone. Stop figuring things out. Instead, practice observing to see what happens when you don’t pine away and analyze. Most significantly, focus on doing things that are truly important and joy producing for you.
I can recall distinctly how I practiced when I was really attracted to a man who was obviously NOT “the one for me” but I was silently hoping he was (because of my attraction). First, you should know that I made a conscious decision to protect my heart (even when I had those major attraction feelings). What that meant was I limited physical contact to holding hands and shoulder rubs. For I know that if I open my body up to a man, I get completely bonded to him (as if I were married to him). I knew I would be in store for possible major heartbreak if I did that without knowing that he was most likely “the one”. I also made sure that I was dating someone else (also with limited physical contact). Since, I know that my judgment gets clouded the more physical I become, this served me well.
The next opportunity to practice came into play when Mr. Attraction didn’t call. Instead of giving my power to him by getting upset about it, I focused on the men and friends who were showing their care and attention to me. I organized my time around things that made me happy. I exercised, went to singles events, dates with really nice men who I thought there might be some potential with (until I concluded otherwise), explored business opportunities, and did more personal development (with therapy, workshops, girlfriend time, etc.) During this time, a friend questioned me, “Are you sure you have enough time for a relationship, you keep yourself so busy.” It was my only hope not to go into pining, strategizing, and criticizing. And I knew that if and when the man who proved himself “worthy” of my heart and with whom I could trust my heart walked into my life, most of the other things (except my girlfriend time) could be completed and lots of time would open up for a soul-connected relationship.
Don’t give your heart to a man who you do not trust. If you can’t tell if you trust him, ask your girlfriends who have or understand good relationships and can recognize good men. If you tend to open up too quickly, then practice being graceful with men while protecting your heart. If you have a hard time opening up, practice opening your heart to yourself first and developing trust in yourself.
Practice being happy whether there is a man in your life or not. Men are attracted to happy women. When you are happy from within and radiate that out authentically, you will have another problem, what do you do with so many men and so little time. Enjoy the process. Be responsible for what/who you attract. Be clear on your intentions with men and let them know. They appreciate a woman who can be straight forward with them. Honorable men will respect you. If they don’t, please don’t allow them into your life.
Laura Rubinstein, Certified Hypnotherapist and Master Leadership Coach and founder of http://www.womeninjoy.com inspires women through her group presentations and tools to create joy in their lives and harmony and passion in their relationships. For relationship enrichment nuggets her free Relationship Transformation starter kit visit www.WomenInJoyClub.com.
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