We touched on self-sabotage a little bit, and today I’d like to expand on those concepts further – and give you some instruction on how to work through any self-sabotage tendencies you may have.
Self-awareness is key. You have to be able to tell when you start acting in ways that are counterproductive to your goals. If you notice that you’re avoiding working on your goals or thinking negatively about them, it’s a sure sign that something is going on.
Usually the culprit is a limiting belief. Here are some of the most common limiting beliefs:
• Not believing you deserve success and accomplishment.
• Not believing you have the ability to achieve or maintain success.
• Fearing the increased responsibility and attention that comes along with success.
• Fearing failure and being disappointed in yourself.
• Fearing failure and disappointing others.
These types of beliefs can make you act in opposition to what you think you want! When you first become aware that you’re sabotaging your efforts, the first step is to question why:
• What am I really afraid of?
• Do I really want to achieve this goal?
• What’s the worst thing that could happen if I’m successful?
• What’s the worst thing that could happen if I fail?
If your answers to these questions reveal limiting beliefs, you’ll have to challenge them and work on changing them around. For example, let’s say your answers to the questions above were similar to these: I’m really afraid of becoming successful because I’ll feel like a fraud. I do want to achieve this goal, but I doubt my ability to maintain it over the long term. The worst thing that could happen if I’m successful is that people will see I don’t have what it takes to stay successful for long. The worst thing that could happen if I fail is that I’ll have confirmation that I’m a loser and I’ll never amount to much, just like my father said.
Whoa! Some pretty heavy insights came out in those answers, right? What do they tell us? That this person has serious doubts about his or her own abilities, right? In this case, he or she would need to work on building up belief and confidence in her/his abilities in order to overcome the self-sabotage.
Your limiting beliefs may be different than these, but I wanted to give you a good example of the process so you can see how to identify and change your own limiting beliefs if they come up. Remember that you never do anything without a driving reason behind it. When you catch yourself acting in opposition to what you think you want, find out why – and then take steps to bring yourself back on track!